A boozehound goes sober...

A boozehound goes sober...

Monday, January 25, 2016

Day 25: The Friends

Day 25. 12:18am. Rainy Cool Night. Drinks-0

Today was an interesting day for the Chicago world of improv comedy regarding sexual harassment of female students and performers. One of my closest friends very eloquently put into words what many of us have felt since stumbling into this scene. She stood up for us, she defended us, she demanded that people in positions of power stop pretending that there isn't a problem. She was a champion of women comedians and the female gender on the whole.

I have a lot to say on the subject and why our rhetoric when talking about sexual harassment and violence is proof enough as to why women aren't comfortable talking about it, much less, reporting it. BUT I'd rather focus this entry on the friend I mentioned above.

One of the things I love most about J, is how much she fucking LOVES being a woman, supporting women, and finding other strong women to be in her life. She vehemently despises anyone/thing that shames women sexually or intellectually. She is consistently giving a big middle finger to the patriarchy and doing what she can to remind mediocre white men that they are what is wrong with the world. J is someone who feels very hard, which is why she is an incredible artist. She knows and believes in the power of words.

Our friendship has been through a lot. Through it, she has managed to give me advice I want to hear, advice I need to hear, and encouragement to be a better writer, comedian, and person.

I can't even count the times I've woken up from a night of drinking and texted her to make sure I hadn't been a complete ass. She's sent me home when I've had one too many.She's supported my dry January instead of mocking it. She's a good pal.  This hasn't been the type of friendship that is just a good time, but a friendship that forces me to think ALL of the time. It forces me to look at my actions and ask myself if I am being a good person. J loves good people...and doesn't have space for bad people.

She's been through a lot that I can't and won't comment on because that is her story not mine...but to sum it up, she is stronger than most people are or have to be. I am positive that today's events had some trigger warnings for many of us, but her ability to calmly respond to post after post of people who just didn't get it was nothing short of amazing.

I posted about my weight on Jan 12th, and people called me brave. I am not brave. J is brave. She wasn't worried whether her words would ban her from a space, give rise to internet trolls that make absurd comments, or really ANYTHING!

Tonight, I wanted nothing more than to meet up with my friend and have a whiskey. I wanted to scream with her about the rage I felt at people's ignorance today. I didn't have a drink. I didn't scream with her. There are several practical reasons this didn't happen--I was tired, it's still the month of January, shows ran long, I just downloaded the new Adele album and wanted to listen to it in my dark room. There were probably some other reasons it didn't happen--we both have grown as humans, our friendship has changed even in the last year, alcohol and screaming won't solve this problem.

In the months leading up to my temporary departure from Chicago, the months I spent on the high sea, and the subsequent time I have been back, J and I have had some ups and downs in our friendship. But no matter what, I have never stopped being proud to call her friend, moreover to call her a close friend. I hope she feels the same about me...even when I don't deserve it.

In the past, days like today would have resulted in me saying, "I need a drink after all of that." Which really meant that I was going to have several drinks. Instead, I wrote down a lot of what I felt, talked with others about what happened, and listened to Adele (seriously, that shit is good!).

Day 25. Complete. Ladies, keep fighting the good fight! We have to listen to each other, protect each other, champion each other, and just be good fucking humans to each other.

Weight Loss-+1million lbs of internet trolls
Money Spent-$75 (groceries and ubers y'all)
# of foot in mouth moments-0. That can't be said for everyone out there today.

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