I made it through Day 2. The day itself was productive. I ate well. I ran. I felt great, and really didn't think too much about not drinking. I was proud of myself. The day was easy...
Then the sun disappeared. I got ready for my show. I wanted a drink. I went to my show. I wanted a drink. I did my show. I wanted a drink. I got cranky after the show. I wanted to drink. I went to a party. I really wanted a drink. It was hot at the party. I wanted a drink. I got irritated with a stranger that bumped into me. I wanted a drink. People offered me a drink. I really wanted to say yes to that drink. And then the urge to drink overcame the urge to have a real conversation with people. I decided to go home because I was in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood because I couldn't drink. AND that is a problem.
People say when you quit drinking that your friends give you a hard time about it. That didn't happen tonight. When I explained I wasn't drinking they didn't seem to care. Most of the responses I got were, "that's great," "ok," "you go girl."
Tonight I realized that my friends are great people who want to make things easier for me. I should have been able to stay at that party. They weren't the problem...I was. I was getting angry and irritated at nothing. Normally, a glass of wine would take the "edge" off, but tonight I didn't try that. That decision was hard...and made me even crankier.
I am happy I am doing this, and it is going to be hard. Tonight made me realize how booze are so apart of this life. I hadn't realized that (for me) drinking at a party was like breathing at a party. And that was scary to type. My hopes that 29 days from now that won't be the case; that in 29 days I will still be able to close down a party...only this time sober.
Becca
Drinks-0
Weight Loss-0
Money spent-$15
# of foot in mouth moments-1 (they can't be avoided)
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