A boozehound goes sober...

A boozehound goes sober...

Monday, February 1, 2016

The End

Day 32. Noon. Drinks-0...but about to be 1!

I am currently in a restaurant about to eat a bun-less turkey burger, enjoying a nice coffee, writing a bit for a show, and I just ordered a MIMOSA! Yes it's noon. Yes it's a Monday. I get it! Stop your judging. Also, fuck off...I wrote the words "bun-less turkey burger," and you are judging the mimosa part? YOU ARE A MONSTER!

A moment of honesty, at 12am, after one of my favorite shows I have ever done, I had some wine to ring in the new month. I woke up this morning with a headache, but that's ok.

So here it is. The things I learned or what I got out of this last month. Or like things I should have already been doing in my life...blah blah blah

1. I was lonely but happier. That is a weird sentence to type, but it is the best way to describe this month. A lot of nights, I went home early and chilled all by myself. Days were spent with a 15 month old, and, like that dude wasn't talking to me...just shouting nonsense. I had a lot of time with myself and my thoughts. BUT that is exactly what made me happier. I dealt with my insecurities and emotions for the first time in a long time. I took ownership of how I felt, and made no apologies. It was cool, lonely but cool! I am still a work in progress--WE ALL ARE! Right? (insert insecurities)

2. The workout breakdown. 
     *Ran over 82 miles
     *Worked out 24 Days
     *Average work out was around 50 minutes
 This is pretty fucking cool! When I was on the ship, I ran an average of 75ish miles a month (except for September when I ran 100 like a god damn psychopath). Towards the end of the month, working out didn't seem like an effort just more of a "when can I fit this thing I want to do in my day." I sincerely hope this part of my life continues.

3. I slept. Sweet Jesus I slept! Admittedly, I took a shit ton of melatonin because I just have sleeping problems. BUT I got quality sleep, and it felt great! I had weird ass dreams...I am talking very vivid dreams about Justin Timberlake. THANK YOU SOBRIETY!

4. I didn't lose weight, and I learned to be kind of ok with it. I say "kind of," because I am still working on accepting my body and how it is always changing (age be a bitch y'all!). The post I made on the 12th really helped me be comfortable with being so uncomfortable. It is still a thing I struggle with...it always will be. However, I can feel the shift in self-acceptance. Like I said in that post, the code to being happy with ourselves is always changing. Some days we know how to unlock it and some days we don't...on the days we don't have the code, we got to cut ourselves some slack and just be happy that we get to live and breathe.

5. I created. I wrote things, I performed those things,  I went back and re-wrote those things. It felt great. I mean, I guess Coach Taylor was right, Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose! 

6. Rarely, did I stick my foot in my mouth. Key word: rarely--I am still an idiot! Y'all when I was drinking, YIKES!!! This is a public apology to those I sent messages to before Jan 1, 2016. I WAS A MONSTER THEN. This month, I didn't get drunk and just spew out some nonsense to anyone that would listen. I was purposeful with my words. I didn't think "texting this person at 2am will seem cute." It's nice to not wake up and scramble to text your pals, "oh shit what did I do." 

7. I valued my time. I didn't over commit, and I was honest when I couldn't do things. I put myself first. I haven't done that in years! It felt great. I didn't feel guilty when I couldn't do something because I was booked, or had a random life event happen, or I was just tired and wanted to be alone. This is one of those things that I don't think being sober is the reason it happened, but I think being sober was the reason I noticed the shift. This is another thing I hope continues. 

8. I felt the urge to drink, but didn't act on it. I know the feeling of, "fuck this was a hard day, I need a drink." The truth is, I didn't and I don't. I had some weird days. I wanted to to drink...but I didn't do it. A drink doesn't solve the problem. I'd argue it perpetuates it. (She sips mimosa. Looks out window. Wonders what we all did before champagne and orange juice). 

9. I didn't spend money. People said I would save this month. I guess I did. I think I'd rather look at it as, I didn't spend money. I didn't obsessively check my account and wonder why did I buy so many people shots. It was nice. (She sips another mimosa and giggles...this is fun). 

10. My friends weren't dicks. So many people told me, "people are going to give you shit for not drinking." NO ONE DID THIS!!!! Everyone was very supportive. They would make comments about how they wanted to drink with me, but no one was a fucking 17 year old high school bully. Many commented about how they wanted to try a dry month. Or they would talk about how impressed they were that I did it....let's take a moment and check our privilege: going sober for a month is NOT something to be impressed by. NOPE! You should be impressed by something way more important. 

11. It was a thing I did. It wasn't that important or exciting. It was a thing. Alcohol is a thing that is so linked to the comedy world, and it was hard. BUT it wasn't impossible. And a big "fuck you," to me for saying that, because for some it is impossible. Guys, life is hard...can we just agree on that?

Thanks for reading. This was fun!  I hope to continue feeling this way...but  again life is hard, so I'll keep you updated.

Day 32. Didn't make it, but happy to be here.


Weight Loss-FUCK OFF
Money Spent-None of your business
# of foot in mouth moments-0. I am still crushing it! 


  1. Becca, I LOVED this journey..you are stronger than I am sister - rock on! I especially loved your blog on weight (hello added 45 lbs since college but actually happier!) and the moment you were wondering why Taylor Swifts song says "Starbucks Lovers" i mean...wtf right? Proud to let you know I figured out by myself it was "list of crossed off lovers" ha!

    Anyways, enjoy the mimosa, the wine and beer! You are still awesome : )

  2. #crushingit!!
    Proud of you love!!